Random Bad Romance Novel Generator

Okay, how often have you been in this situation... You're standing in line at Stop and Flop (and Shop), watching impatiently as Grandma slowly piles her radishes, turnips, and gingerbread men onto the checkout counter, when your eyes accidentally drift to the magazine rack, where you notice that, according to the Weekly National Star, Ben Affleck is filing a countersuit against Mercury, Venus, and Mars, who allege that J.Lo's ass exerts "an unnecessarily disruptive gravitational influence" upon their orbits.

Rolling your eyes at this headline causes their gaze to fall upon a rack of pastel-colored romance novels, and you begin to wonder what it is about these unfortunate wastes of Mother Earth's natural resources that creates such a fuss among single women sorely lacking in self-esteem. Noticing that Grandma is in the process of trying to figure out whether her total of $27.49 can be paid for somehow with the $18.25 that she has in her purse, you pick up an needlessly thick, generically-titled paperback. Bemusedly curious, you flip to a random chapter and begin to read...